Saturday, March 28, 2009

学校, Fiona, Gold, and a Cowboy

Due to popular demand and because of recent met qualifications, (hey, the process is rough, but nothing but the best) I present to you the most flattering picture of my girlfriend Fiona.

I know. A raincoat. Kinda funny since usually I'm the one wearing those. Can he be more subtle, rhetorical, pattern-destructive, or third-person-perspectiveish? Do you know if 爱龙 knows?

She is great. No metaphor for that. I applaud her for her insight. Smartest girl I've been with. Keen is the word. She also has certain adventure qualities I mirror. Bus rides are the exploding bomb with her!

Although, still, she is foolish enough to wear high heels. Secretly, I think she's a genious for getting me to give her that piggy back ride. Under-secretly, I like it. Her honesty sun casts a shadow, but I think that's more of a cultural thing than anything. I get over it and into it.

Life is awesome. "Awe, like, awe, whoa, wow, and some like in can I have some candy?" I instruct.

Teaching is the best. I am making an actual contribution to world society. I also get free dinners and hugs from kids who call me uncle. There may be the occasional nut shot but the scores of high fives make up for it. High fives and stickers are essential for the small ones.

The days keep getting better and better. I have everything I need here. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. Thoreau would be proud and possible angry about the plagiarism, but what's he gonna do? Tell this government? Ha! Their loyalty is only to the RED!

Although, that red I am misdirectly referring to is on the 100 元 Mao bill. I see it. That's China's new religion.

That and mopping.

They always mop! Mop 这里, mop 那里。I asked why the kids have to mop so much even though ten seconds later, it is just as muddy. "It gives them something to do." Makes sense. I saw an old lady with her official straw hat and orange deflectors on the highway sweeping up. So ineffective, I thought. But then, what else could she do to feed her self.

I realize that I am extremely more privileged than most people. I can order these above leftovers any time I want. I have the financial resources and arrogant insight to prepare. I try to tell others about the future and what is coming, but they don't budge. Buy into the lie that this is simply a regular recession. Revolution be a brewing, I say. That's why I've finally practiced what I preached and put my savings into these three little golden boxes.

GOOOOOOOLD. It will be sooooooo.

We gotta get on it because I'm telling you, they're coming for us. This guy's already ahead of the game.

But I worry not. I take notes and coast.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Calling All Jobless and Boringplus

My teacher told me to tell my eager and awaiting American friends that they should apply for a teaching job here in the city of Guangzhou, China come September time. That's right, you too can become a much valued 老师 (lao shi(teacher)) here just like me. It doesn't matter if you know every correct tone of all these characters or if you're just right now learning "hello." It's ni3 hao3. Pronounced "knee how." You'll get it. Trust.

Here's the deal:

You probably will work five days a week. Two of those days are full days where you have to work the morning and evening classes. The other three days are simply half days and can go home after 12. You have to plan your lessons, but that takes a solid 4.2153 minutes per lesson.

You will teach all of the classes in English and you have at least one Chinese teacher to assist you at all times. They are great.

You get to play with little babies, shamelessly sing (O Raine, you smell what I'm stepping in!) to elementary young 'uns, and inform the disillusioned junior highers that America isn't all it's cracked up to be.

With no prior teaching experience, you will probably start off with a salary of 7,000 yuan per month. That dashboard calculates to $1,022.585. You will live like a king, queen, or drag queen if that's your thing with this money. To give you a sense of what this means in this central land, I have a legit three bedroom apartment here complete with all of the amenities in which I pay the equivalent of $250 US a month. You'll eat well and do lots of things.

I am playing so much more basketball here. Every kid here loves it and the only Commi mental restrictions they put on you is that you must be willing to agree to Yao Ming's awesomeness.

You'll be well on your way to learning the language of the next superpower. It's definitely going to come in handy in our lifetime. The prophetical Firefly and real has convinced me so.

The reason why I'm selling this is because I was pretty unhappy with my office job back in the states. I did make more money, but it was so boring. I was so unhappy with it. Luckily, I have a second cousin here in Guangzhou who is doing exactly what I am doing now. He helped me get myself all set up and I will do the same for you, o random facebook friend. You are welcome to chill at my pad until you get your bearings and footing set in. If you've got any more questions or affirmations, message or wall post me up. You down?

Sunday, March 1, 2009


I have been doing everything I can to improve myself here. It's discipline.

Every action has a purpose. Every body and mind movement is necessary to shoot the arrow from the bow. Every minute is utilized to achieve maximum efficiency. I study my old Chinese book while riding on the bus to my schools in the city. When I get tired, I put on an audiobook to focus on. Focusing or focusing on non-focusing is my methodos. Being not aware is the void.

I now strictly take cold showers.
I've started to do so because the hot water only stays on for a minute before I have to restart it. Also, I've been researching that it's more healthy for an individual for many reasons. It increases the circulation between all parts of your body because it puts the blood flow circulation on double time. It also closes up your pores to allow for clearer skin. It also makes your hair healthier because it contracts the scalp so your hair particles have a more firm grip. Not scientific-sounding, I know, but more often, this way makes more sense. Dirt and oils don't make it to the cuticle crevices. It doesn't bother me as much because I usually work out before I take my showers so it's more of a refreshing cool down. Plus, that moment of the first liquid 冰 is most zen.

I eat almonds and some orange juice before I go to bed. Paramahansa Yogananda suggests so.
I've been rereading a chapter of his Man's Eternal Quest every random moment and highlighting like a madman. So much valuable information and insight! I gain! In all things, I gain! It makes me think how much more valuable this information is knowing that I will share it with my people both in my memoir writings and to my clairaudience members once I return home. It makes me look forward to another baseball game.

I read so much more since the TV is confined to my select downloadable programs on these commercial-less trustworthy torrents.
I am reading 1421: The Year China Discovered America (title-explained) and one of my old textbooks, The Modern World which has famous essays and articles from all major thinkers in that time period. I still don't understand how we're postmodern or even sometimes post-post modern. Are we living in the future? Probably not. I have to keep reminding myself time doesn't exist. The Losties and Heroes are understanding this issue on a similar scale.

I meditate for a while every night before slumber time.
It is extremely difficult to think of nothing. When I silently sit, legs crossed, fingers thumbs and pointer fingers barely connected, I find myself always judging my thoughts. It's not so much in a negative way, but it won't turn off. Of course, with everything, I am getting better. When in public, I am much more capable as to keep my thoughts to myself and when I do decide to open up my channel, it is usually positive thoughts. It's amazing how people will instantly call on you when you make one slip up. I guess every one else needs to judge too. They/We feel the need to separate ourselves from one another. Create our own identity. "This is who I am because I am different than that." All of this theory is temporary.

I've been trying to go to bed at midnight, but this commitment seems to be the most difficult to keep.
I always have something to do. Even though there is usually no one here to take my mind away from my tasks, I always find something to keep me up. It could be that last youtube video about how to whistle with your fingers. It could be that I must check to see if it's my turn to move that knight. It could be that I just want to finish that movie I watch periodically throughout the day. There's always something to keep me going.

I study on my computer two hours a day.
I am devouring this language and trying to think of everything in characters. With this ease, I realize I'll definitely be fluent in two years. One of my coworkers says that I'll be proficient in six more months. We're always working together. She throws out new vocab at me and I continually correct her grammar and pronunciation. Even though it's not easy to memorize it all, I do enjoy the work. It makes me think of all the other languages I can learn. I've long ago decided that I want to be fluent in Mandarin and Spanish by the time I'm thirty, but now I have a few new goals. After those two languages are wrapped up, I want to get some Arabic under my belt. I really liked the Egyptians' style when I visited there. After I visit the Mayans, I think I will add the Egyptians' culture to my ancient themed repertoire. I've also been contemplating the uses of French (for Africa) and Russian (for their reemergence as a superpower in the future) for my lifetime.

I've been going through a strict work out regimentation.
I either run and do my pullups around the lake or variations of push ups and situps almost every day. UP! A sound mind in a sound body. Always pushing. Just a little more. "Hold it till you can't." Then drop down, wait a few seconds, go back up and hold it some more.

I stretch every night.
It's almost like yoga but I don't know any of the particular moves. It feels really good to do these amazing things to my body. This bag of brownness is quite an amazing vehicle. I want to fix my sinuses so I can breathe one hundred percent clearly. I want to make my elbows stop cracking every time I bend them. I want to align my back perfectly so I don't feel that slight stress on the left side. I want fluidness.

I signed up for a taichi class.
I was hoping for some actual kung fu, fighting lessons, but this is the real deal. It's a different style than what I'm used to. I've been playing basketball here and doing everything in my life that I didn't have time to back in California. There's still that working walking bustle almost every day of the week, but it is compensated by the free-free time. Time to just think. Of course thinking is just culminating and plagiarizing every experience you've had into making a version of this reality that applies to you. Most are ice in this ocean of interconnectivity. I am trying to become the water. To go where normal icies can't yet reach. This evolution is amazing. What's next? Nothing to do, except steam on ahead.

I've been listening to Outliers and Gladwell says that in order to achieve full mastery, one has to invest 10,000 hours in that activity.
This is party why I've gotten down to actually writing again. I have been exercising my mind in it's reactive state for a long time and now I want to practice more by placing myself in the arena of creation.