Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Calling All Jobless and Boringplus

My teacher told me to tell my eager and awaiting American friends that they should apply for a teaching job here in the city of Guangzhou, China come September time. That's right, you too can become a much valued 老师 (lao shi(teacher)) here just like me. It doesn't matter if you know every correct tone of all these characters or if you're just right now learning "hello." It's ni3 hao3. Pronounced "knee how." You'll get it. Trust.

Here's the deal:

You probably will work five days a week. Two of those days are full days where you have to work the morning and evening classes. The other three days are simply half days and can go home after 12. You have to plan your lessons, but that takes a solid 4.2153 minutes per lesson.

You will teach all of the classes in English and you have at least one Chinese teacher to assist you at all times. They are great.

You get to play with little babies, shamelessly sing (O Raine, you smell what I'm stepping in!) to elementary young 'uns, and inform the disillusioned junior highers that America isn't all it's cracked up to be.

With no prior teaching experience, you will probably start off with a salary of 7,000 yuan per month. That dashboard calculates to $1,022.585. You will live like a king, queen, or drag queen if that's your thing with this money. To give you a sense of what this means in this central land, I have a legit three bedroom apartment here complete with all of the amenities in which I pay the equivalent of $250 US a month. You'll eat well and do lots of things.

I am playing so much more basketball here. Every kid here loves it and the only Commi mental restrictions they put on you is that you must be willing to agree to Yao Ming's awesomeness.

You'll be well on your way to learning the language of the next superpower. It's definitely going to come in handy in our lifetime. The prophetical Firefly and real infowars.com has convinced me so.

The reason why I'm selling this is because I was pretty unhappy with my office job back in the states. I did make more money, but it was so boring. I was so unhappy with it. Luckily, I have a second cousin here in Guangzhou who is doing exactly what I am doing now. He helped me get myself all set up and I will do the same for you, o random facebook friend. You are welcome to chill at my pad until you get your bearings and footing set in. If you've got any more questions or affirmations, message or wall post me up. You down?


lorraine said...

thanks for the shout out. and have you heard of the miracle berry? they sell them in asia. it's this magic fruit that turns sour foods sweet. i want that.

Anthony said...

No I haven't. I'm just getting my full on those purple fruits that looks like they came out of a Zelda game. Inside they are white and delicious.