Due to popular demand and because of recent met qualifications, (hey, the process is rough, but nothing but the best) I present to you the most flattering picture of my girlfriend Fiona.
I know. A raincoat. Kinda funny since usually I'm the one wearing those. Can he be more subtle, rhetorical, pattern-destructive, or third-person-perspectiveish? Do you know if 爱龙 knows?
She is great. No metaphor for that. I applaud her for her insight. Smartest girl I've been with. Keen is the word. She also has certain adventure qualities I mirror. Bus rides are the exploding bomb with her!
Although, still, she is foolish enough to wear high heels. Secretly, I think she's a genious for getting me to give her that piggy back ride. Under-secretly, I like it. Her honesty sun casts a shadow, but I think that's more of a cultural thing than anything. I get over it and into it.
Life is awesome. "Awe, like, awe, whoa, wow, and some like in can I have some candy?" I instruct.
Teaching is the best. I am making an actual contribution to world society. I also get free dinners and hugs from kids who call me uncle. There may be the occasional nut shot but the scores of high fives make up for it. High fives and stickers are essential for the small ones.
The days keep getting better and better. I have everything I need here. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. Thoreau would be proud and possible angry about the plagiarism, but what's he gonna do? Tell this government? Ha! Their loyalty is only to the RED!
Although, that red I am misdirectly referring to is on the 100 元 Mao bill. I see it. That's China's new religion.
That and mopping.
They always mop! Mop 这里， mop 那里。I asked why the kids have to mop so much even though ten seconds later, it is just as muddy. "It gives them something to do." Makes sense. I saw an old lady with her official straw hat and orange deflectors on the highway sweeping up. So ineffective, I thought. But then, what else could she do to feed her self.
I realize that I am extremely more privileged than most people. I can order these above leftovers any time I want. I have the financial resources and arrogant insight to prepare. I try to tell others about the future and what is coming, but they don't budge. Buy into the lie that this is simply a regular recession. Revolution be a brewing, I say. That's why I've finally practiced what I preached and put my savings into these three little golden boxes.
GOOOOOOOLD. It will be sooooooo.
We gotta get on it because I'm telling you, they're coming for us. This guy's already ahead of the game.
But I worry not. I take notes and coast.